Sunday, June 01, 2003

My Cup over Floweth with Love & A Hangover

My parents are the best and i'm not even suking up, hell no do they read this. Oh no, no, no. To the nunnery i'd go. But this past week spent with them in Corpus was so very delightful. I know I still have so much to learn from them, wisdom to glean, and morals to adopt. I can only hope that one day when i'm a mother myself i'm half of what my mother is in one day. They never cease to love me unconditionally, put me first, or encourage me to fulfill my potential and destiny.

Amazing. I'm flabergasted at this blessing.

Up until last year I worked with under priviledged youth, many of these youth came from broken homes or if the parents were still togather it wasn't a desirable one. I'll never forget the young girl who shared with me her sad story, who cried in my arms and I with her. She is etched in my heart and I can't even remeber her name anymore. How embarrassing.

But there are so many of them just like her and part of me is upset i'm so blessed and they aren't but then part of me is so grateful that I am.

I'm constantly taking for granted the blessings and people in my life instead of stepping back and getting this perspective of just how Damn Lucky I am.

I found the best friend a girl could ask for in my sister and in a russian, I can't imagine more perfect parents who love me so much or love eachother so much, good health, straight teeth and a budding plant the squirrels haven't pushed off the balcony...yet.

In fact, it's the only one the squirrels haven't had their way with.

Lesson learned:
Don't underestimate those cute little fury bushy tailed demons, there bad oh yah.

But life is good. Believe it, it is.

Friday, November 01, 2002

To the beach I go. I went. And i'm still here

Boarding House Season Two:

Tuesday morning I was asked twice of what my plans were for that day. This caught me by surprise, for not only did I have nothing to do but I had no time to think of anything to tell them. "Humph", I thought. Then I asked back, "what are you up to today" and he replied with this and with that and it all sounded so very extrodinary. I slumped with envy and shame at my nothingness, where were my Jersey sisters with grand plans?!? Why were they still in Austin?!? So I drove off, gave a honk at the boy without his shirt doing that lusty manuel labor thing and I began to ponder...and ponder...until depression fell over me as the reality of my twentysomething failures set into view. But pity party me not. This setting of falling setted me off and down i-35 I flew, doing the speed limit, but I was motivated. I looked forward and not at that pie in the sky of 10 years from now I all to often get stuck drooling after, but to October and Novemeber; December and Janurary. Something had to be done and after lunch and conversation at Taco Express with Heather and Scott I was taking care of business, a semester full of F's bizness. That felt goood, real goood. I can now go back to school when I want and where I want, just Uncle Sam is cutting me off the sugar tree until further notice or until I cut off my arms and legs, which is what I'd need to do to be able to pay them back by the date they want. No worries, i'm ok-your ok, right hippie man?!? Back to the beach prelude, there I was in Austin, getting spell bound by the trails and hills reminding me of the good ol' days: the hours spent walking and exploring, sitting and reading, thinking and wishing, but most importantly chilling with Purpose. Purpose or Security, everyone needs it, we all seek it in some way or another and some go the distance making purpose their security or security their purpose. It's the big universal schtick. Like dinner and a movie. Well, blah blah blah, I decided to drive another 3 hours south and visit my parents in Corpus seeing as how I could and why the hell not.

It's been lovely, my mother is the most perfect being ever, my father a hoot and the clear skies, crashing waves, soft sand in-between my toes-perfect.

I'm ready to take Dallas on again.

Big City, please give me something to do.

On a different (and crazy) stroke ,
I woke up this morning missing your dog.